All the Things Ewe Are

Let us praise this day that marks the grand voyage undertaken by the pilgrims when they left their home to escape religious prosecution, so they could freely prosecute religion in their own way. And let us not forget the savages who taught us to prosper in this land of opportunity, where now they prosper in casinos and teach us to feed the greed we founded this country on. And let us never forget that first dinner that we had in God’s country, forever cementing the divine gluttony that we now uphold with pride, dignity and honor. 

“Based on the controversial analysis of a map that was viewed by a couple of Humans and later recalled under hypnosis, some UFO conspiracy theorists on Earth believe that Zeta2, the brighter component, harbors the base of space-travelling beings (whom they call Greys”). Apparently, these Greys have been visiting Earth to abduct humans for research and other nefarious purposes. One of their vehicles purportedly crash landed in Roswell, New Mexico, which the U.S. Government is alleged to have been trying to cover up.

“On September 20, 1996, astronomers at the European Southern Observatory announced that they had detected possible indications of a giant planet around Zeta2 with around 27 percent of Jupiter’s mass, moving in a close inner orbit (0.14 AUs) with a period of 18.9 days. Within two days, however, the discovery announcement was retracted because the detected radial velocity variations could be attributed to the aging star’s pulsations (more).

“In any case, the orbit of an Earth-like planet (with liquid water) around Zeta2 would have to be centered at around one AU — the orbital distance Earth in the Solar System — with an orbital period of just over a year. Around dimmer Zeta1, the orbit of an Earth-like planet would be closer in around 0.9 AU — between the orbital distances of Venus and Earth in the Solar System — with an orbital period of around 320 days.”

THIS IS SOME BULLSH*T.

Moments after I wrote a post about how NBC is out of their Gosh Darn minds, wait you know what? I’m going to curse. I’m going to use the Lord’s name in vain because I am just that mad. Plus, it’s not like that is written down anywhere…NBC IS OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMN MINDS. Today there was lots of discussion over NBC’s schedule- mainly the ridiculous notion that changing their schedule around would help the non-funny Whitney and boost the charming Up All Night. But what would be done with their other shows?

Well, the sad news is that when NBC unveiled their mid-season line up, the critically lauded and constantly clever Community was nowhere to be found. They did indeed switch Whitney and Up All Night. They also dropped Prime Suspect for the mid-season (Mario Bello and her vaginal hubris shall be fine, don’t worry) and added on some mid-season shows you’ve already heard of (Are You There Chelsea?, The Voice, Smash, etc). Thursday night looks like this:  30 Rock, Parks & Rec, The Office, Up All Night.

Community…no…it can’t be…

Does this mean that Community has been cancelled? Kind of but not really. While it isn’t official yet the likelihood of Community being renewed is low as the show has been rumored to be “on the bubble” which is critic lingo for “tentative chopping block.” Apparently not enough people watch the show, which is a travesty, because I’ve said frequently in my recaps that it’s the most original show on television.

So this is what we need to do- call NBC, tweet NBC, take to the interwebs with the passion of a rabid fanbase. We have to make sure that this show lives on. If we don’t make a big stink, NBC execs (Satan incarnates) will have no problem cancelling the show. We got to make sure we give support to Dan Harmon and the rest of the cast and crew. Also, obviously, you need to watchCommunity on Thursdays at 8pm.

#SAVEGREENDALE

by Emily Cheever

http://www.ology.com/tv/community-cancelled-its-all-you